A Bit of Grace

I just had themost unique experience at a ministry fair. The fair "traffic" was slow, and I was visiting with the ladies from the ministry next to me. We were chatting about what we do, the churches we attend, etc. The one lady asked me where I was from, which surprised me a bit. She said that she'd lived in the area for 27 years, but she was still considered an outsider, as were her children, so she recognizing other "outsiders." Then she asked me, "So how are things going for you personally? Don't tell me about your ministry or your church now; tell me about how things are going for you."

I wasn't quite sure how to answer this relative stranger. I've moved several times, so I know that breaking into a new community is often difficult, especially when it's a small, close-knit community such as the Olean area. I have some people that I consider friends, but I don't have anyone I would really go to in an emergency. I don't have anyone who calls and justs wants to do something. The people I do talk with all have other groups of friends or their families, and so they don't think to invite me along to things. Even when I reach out to them and invite them to do something with me, the answer usually is no because they're already doing something with another friend or with their family. I really am an outsider here.

I finally answered that it has been tough, and for the next several minutes she listened patiently and asked wise questions as I found myself revealing things to this lady that I normally would never tell to anyone except for my closest of friends. As we talked, I realized how difficult this move has been for me. I realized how much I miss my friends and my students in the Chicagoland area. I realized how tired I am of trying to be OK on my own. I realized how hard I've been trying to "play the game" so that I can fit in here and how miserably I've failed at that game.

All of this comes on the heels of being summoned before the "powers" for a meeting this evening. I was only told that we needed to discuss "some issues," and my past experience tells me that when the "powers" call a quick meeting without giving you any indication of what they want to discuss, it's trouble. It's nothing I haven't been through before, but it's never easy. And I know that I don't have one person at that meeting tonight who is in my corner. Flashbacks to the "church from hell" come rushing back.

And yet, for at least a few moments this morning, someone understood. She cared. She listened to me and affirmed me. In the midst of this stressful time and struggle, I received a bit of grace this morning - not from my pastor, not from a friend, not from the church, but from a stranger.