Direction

The first person that walked through that valley of hurt and despair with me was Larry. He had been my spiritual director at the retreat, and it was through him that I began to see myself as having value and being loved.

Larry has this thing about making sure that everyone knows they are the beloved of God. I wasn't even remotely capable of believing that when I first met Larry, but he was persistent. He loved me and cared for me. He helped me to see that others loved and cared for me. He even believed I was the beloved of God enough for me to consider that I might be. You might say that he believed enough for me when I couldn't believe it myself. Eventually, with some help and guidance from Larry, I began to believe this basic truth for myself - and about myself.

Larry also taught me to pray with bubbles. There's something joyful and happy about bubbles that just doesn't allow you to sit in self-pity, despair, stress or sorrow for too long. It was a great release - to pray (scream, yell, cry, etc.) about my situation and all my hurts while blowing bubbles. They floated away on the breeze, rose up to the heavens, popped on the grass or simply swirled to an end on the end of my bubble wand. The thing about bubbles is that they don't last, you can't hold on tightly to them, and no matter what you do, they can't be taken back once they are blown. Eventually, I learned to do that with my hurts and stresses. Bubble by bubble, bit by bit, I began to release all the things that were beyond my control. Slowly, all those hurtful things began to lose their power over me, and a joy that I hadn't felt since I was a small child began to creep back into my life.